“Nebraska has EPIC GOLF!”

Four words that made me question Paul’s sanity and golf expertise.

But that was his pitch to me, to get me to commit to a twelve-hour roadtrip to the middle-of-nowhere Nebraska.

That the Cornhusker state — where there might be more corn than people — has “EPIC… GOLF.”

And all I could think to myself was… “Didn’t I die of dysentery somewhere in Nebraska, playing ‘Oregon Trail’?”

Safe to say, I was skeptical.

I told Paul “I’ll think about it… let me check with my wife and see what she thinks.” That way, at least I have a scapegoat if I decide I don’t want to go on the trip. 

Like… “Hey man, I really want to go but my wife won’t let me… 

                   I know, it stinks.”

So I went home.

Slept on it…

Weighed the pros and cons…

Did some research…

And finally decided… “Why not. Could be fun.”

And let’s just say… I WILL NEVER DOUBT PAUL AGAIN!!!

Our WiscoGolfAddict Nebraska Outing was one of the coolest experiences of my life.

Let’s start from the beginning:

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Four golf pioneers meet in Madison: myself, Paul and his friends, Dan and Will — and begin their pilgrimage to a golf paradise… Mullen, Nebraska.

Their first stop on the “Husker Trail” was at Landmand Golf Club in Homer.

And right off the bat, you’re just smacked in the face with the beauty of the course.

The rolling prairies… lush, tall grass… wild flowers.

You head up to the club house —that sits atop a hill, overlooking the grounds like a proud parent — and that’s where the scale of what you’re about to embark on truly takes over.

Fairways as far as the eye can see…

Massive bunkers staring you right in the eyes saying “bring it!”

We head to the first tee, they’re playing the walk-up music Dan picked (“Nothing but a G-Thang BABY”)…

We tee off… and our trek begins.

The course was AMAZING! 

Short Par-4’s mixed with long Par-3’s and some of the BIGGEST greens you’ve ever seen. Heck, the 17th green was over 33,000 square feet! Which means you can drive it and still have a 200-foot putt up 3 levels of shelving. Just insane.

It was one of the best golf experiences of my life.

There was no way the final destination of our trip would ever top THIS DAY…

And just like when I doubted Paul about Nebraska having EPIC GOLF… I was wrong again.

—

From Landmand, we headed 5 hours west to Mullen, Nebraska… home to some of the top rated courses — not just in the country — but in the WORLD.

After miles and miles and miles and miles and miles…. AND MILES… of nothingness, cows, dirt highways, and single-lane roads… we finally pulled into Dismal River Golf Club around six at night… and BAM!!! 

It hits you…

DISMAL hits you!

Like a Tyson haymaker!

A huge main lodge surrounded by cabins, looking out over wide open spaces.

We’re greeted by a stuffed buffalo when first entering the lodge. Then we walk around the corner and the floor-to-ceiling windows open up to an awesome patio with a big fire pit and breathtaking views of the valley below. 

We have a quick dinner at Wild Bill’s Pub — the steak was amazing — check out the billiards room and hot tub… and then went back to our FOUR-bedroom cabin. That’s right, FOUR-BEDROOM CABIN. Each room with a king bed, leather pullout couch, private bathroom and a stand-up shower the size of a New York City apartment.

The four of us gathered in the downstairs common area to go over the plan for the next day and what would become the greatest golf day of my life.

—

The alarm clock goes off at 6:30. I almost expected a rooster to wake me up but maybe it was taking the morning off.

We head to the driving range and putting area, which were just steps from the cabin. Spent about 30 minutes getting nice and loose. Then hopped in our carts and took the mile-long cart path to Jack’s Shack… the home of the first tee and 18th green.

The White Course is a Jack Nicklaus designed course and is everything you’d expect from a course designed by one of the greats.

Long… challenging… FUN.

And man… I was feeling it! 

Had two near hole-in-ones on 5 and 10… I was even through 11… and then the wheels fell off.

The pressure of a good round got to me…

Jack’s course got to me.

And Will told me I was even through 11.

We got to the elevated 18th tee box — which gives an awesome view of the Shack  — needing a birdie to break 80 and settled over a par. First world problems, am I right?

—

We grab lunch at Jack’s Shack — I highly recommend the Monte Cristo — and then back down the long, winding cart path… avoiding jack rabbits and mule deer along the way — and make our way to the first tee of the White Course, which is a Tom Doak designed course.

This was the first time I truly noticed the differences in each designer’s take on what a golf course “should be.”

 On Jack’s course, each hole is separate… its own identity, its own challenge, uniformed.

On Tom’s course, the hole never ends. The fairways are blended together, like cursive. Once you step off a green, you’re pretty much standing on the next tee box. It’s pretty cool. 

Plus the fairways are WIDE OPEN, which lulls you into a false sense of comfort because I kid you not, they were the toughest fairways I have ever played. No clean lies anywhere on the course. More blind shots than the 3 mice could handle. It was anarchy! It owned me!

Shot an 83 and I’m still not sure how.

Freakin’ Tom Doak…

—

After popping some Extra Strength Tylenol and abusing my body with the foam roller… we head to Bill’s Pub for one final night cap before beginning our journey back to Wisconsin.

And I have to say… this trip just blew me away. 

Never, in my wildest dreams, would I have expected this part of the country to offer this kind of golf experience.

But as a wise man once said… 

“Nebraska has EPIC GOLF!”

Can’t remember who said that… but I couldn’t agree more.