Charl Schwartzel: Can’t Say I’ve Ever Gotten This Mad On the Course
Makes me think of the classic scene in Tin Cup (quoted from IMSDb):
53 EXT. COTTONWOOD LOCAL QUALIFIER - TENTH TEE - DAY 53
Tin Cup's in a zone, talking to himself, full of himself,
in a fabulous, indomitable state of mind.
Molly and Romeo keep looking at each other and shrugging,
Tin Cup's on a roll and needs no help. So far...
A couple of the regulars shout out encouragement.
You the man, Tin Cup! You the
They bugging you, boss -- I can
shut 'em up?
The way I'm swinging today,
nothing bugs me -- except
Gimme the lumber.
But Romeo is handing him a two iron.
I think two iron's safer.
I said I want the Big Dog.
Romeo looks warily down the fairway of a tight dogleg
left par five.
Tight par five, out of bounds
left... you don't want to hit
I'm not going left of those trees.
I'm going over those trees... with
a little draw. That way I get
home in two. That way I'm putting
You don't need eagle to qualify!
You need to get used to playing
smart -- no mistakes wins the
Qualify? I want the course
record! Now gimme the lumber!
Tin Cup reaches for the driver. Romeo shifts the golf
bag beyond Tin Cup's reach.
You not going to listen to me?
You don't care I'm trying to help?
You think I'm full of shit?
I think I'm gonna get penalized
for slow play if you don't give me
that fucking driver.
You a head case, boss, always
were, always will be.
Then let's ask the head doctor.
Dr. Griswold, should I hit the Big
Dog or the two?
Suddenly an OFFICIAL steps forward.
Soliciting shot selection advice
is a two-stroke penalty.
Trust your feelings, Roy.
Ha! Gimme the driver and shut up.
Romeo pulls out the driver and he snaps it in half over
his knee. He tosses the two halves on the ground near
... Go ahead. Hit the driver.
Tin Cup looks at the two halves of his driver, curbing
his anger, not giving Romeo the satisfaction of a
I changed my mind. Gimme the
You can't clear the dogleg with a
Romeo pulls out the three wood, snaps it over his knee,
and tosses the halves on the ground next to the driver
halves. Tin Cup turns with amusement to his playing
partners, lest they think management has lost the upper
hand with labor.
Guess I'm going with the safe
Tin Cup reaches for the two iron, studies it a moment,
frowns, and then:
He snaps it over his knee. He dumps these halves on the
ground with the halves of the driver and three wood.
Romeo stares, aghast. Tin Cup merely shrugs.
Sometimes I fan that two iron.
Better gimme the three.
Romeo warily hands Tin Cup the three iron. Tin Cup looks
at it, frowns, then:
He snaps it over his knee and tosses it on the ground.
Molly leans over to the regulars.
Is this normal behavior for him?
The word 'normal' and him don't
collide in the same sentence too
She watches in amazement as --
Sometimes I catch that three a
He drops the three iron halves with the other halves, and
steps past Romeo and sequentially yanks all but the seven
iron from his bag.
He snaps them over his knee, one by one, citing the
crimes of each club with mounting absurdity and ire.
And I've hooked my four iron...
... and hit flyers with the
... and shanked the six...
... and skulled the eight...
... and fatted the nine...
... and chili-dipped the wedge...
... and bladed the sand wedge...
(snap; then pauses
on his putter)
... and then there's Mister
He snaps the putter in half and dumps it in the pile of
broken clubs at his feet.
Then, he reaches for the last club in his bag, the seven
iron. The regulars hold their breath, thinking this is
the end of Tin Cup's Open bid. But...
Tin Cup smiles and caresses the seven iron
But the seven iron, I never miss
the seven iron. It's the only
truly safe club in my bag.
He moves to the tee, drops a ball, and hits it down the
middle with the seven iron.
You happy, Romeo?
No, boss, I'm tired... my life's
too short to spend it watching you
fall apart. I done it too many
Romeo turns and starts walking away.
What's this? You're quitting?
First sign of adversity, you're
Anyone want to bet me I can't par
in with a seven iron?
Doc? Take the bet?
Roy -- just shut up and hit the